Clearly I am not referring to a wasp sting, as that is never funny as I very well know from my recent experience. Pest jokes and in particular those about wasps, however, can be very funny. The classic ones, you know the kind your dad tells. Anyway, here we go…
Word of warning, if you are outside when reading this post, remember not to roll around with laughter / gesticulate too much, just in case of nearby wasps you may end up with a nasty sting in the tail, arm, leg, etc. – boom, boom!! (Jokes below found courtesy of Animal Corner and Joke Dictionary.
- What is a wasps favourite film? Sting-ing in the Rain!
- What is a wasps second favourite film? Lord of the Stings!
- Who is a wasps favourite singer? Sting!
- What is a wasps favourite song? Sultans of Sting! (I don’t get this one – anyone know the actual song this refers to?)
- What is a wasps second favorite song? Just a Spoonful of Sugar. (Oh, I do like that one too)
- What sport do wasps play? Sting-pong! (If only we could use ping-pong balls as wasp control!)
- Where do you take a sick wasp? To waspital. (Caroline’s particular favourite.)
- What did the bee say to the wasp who tried to make honey? Don’t wasp your time!
- Waiter, waiter! There’s a wasp in my dessert. So that’s where they go to in the winter.
- A man went into a pet shop and said: “I want to buy a wasp.” ‘Sorry sir, we don’t sell wasps’, insisted the shopkeeper. ‘But you’ve got one in the window’, said the man. (Oh dear!)
So, who’s having the last laugh now then? Humans 1 – Wasps 0. Any more wasp jokes? Must be more out there!
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sultans_of_Swing
Matt
An wasp expert walks into a record shop and asks the assistant:
“Do you have ‘European Vespidae accoustics’? Volume 2…it was released this week on vinyl?”
“Certainly” replies the assistant, somewhat taken aback. Anxious this a prank or a mistake, he follows it up with: “Would you like to listen to this before you buy it…?” and offers the expert a pair of headphones
The expert puts the headphones on. A minute later, he calls the assistant back.
“I am a expert on European wasps and this is not accurtae at all! Are you sure this is the correct recording?”
Flustered, the assistant checks the turntable, and relays that it is indeed European Vespidae accoustics (Volume 2) the assistant apologies and lifts the needle onto the next track.
Two minutes later and the expert is fuming with rage. storming up to the counter he demands an explanation from the assistant
“This is unforgivable! No European wasp ever made a sound like this. This is false advertising!”
“I am terribly sorry, sir replies the assistant, mortified and motioning for his manager. The Manager arrives and has the expert conveys his concerns regarding the recording. Looking at the turntable, he immediately realises the problem:
“Many apologies sir- it appears we have been playing you the bee side”.
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Entomologists’ jokes. Be careful what you wish for.
Matt
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