Spam. Everybody hates it. Nobody wants it on their blog (or on Twitter for that matter – and I mean you Britney Sex-Bot Pest!!!).
Usually it doesn’t get through, phew. According to our stats, 3,068 spam messages have been stopped since the blog moved to being hosted at rentokil.com some time ago.
Out of interest, I decided to trawl through and see if anything had been stopped that shouldn’t have been. I found a few comments from a pest control company that were perfectly fine so they got approved. I then found loads more that were selling various, er, non-prescription drugs shall we say and others that were offering videos of various celebrities doing, well, er, various intimate things.
However, I then found some jokes (which were immediately followed by the url of a dodgy website). And bearing in mind Ben’s Waspital joke, I thought they deserved sharing, although only a few mention pests. Will “pest control humour” ever catch on I wonder?
Do you remember all of those really rubbish jokes, which as a kid you found hilarious, but as an adult you wish they weren’t so funny because actually you end up smiling despite your best efforts? And yes, I laughed despite myself too. Must remember them for when my little boy is old enough to start telling jokes at school. In no particular order:
What is the biggest ant? An eleph-ant.
What city has the largest rodent population? Hamster-dam (wonder whether Ben has been here and regaled the stories of his holiday travels).
What is a cat’s favourite dessert? Mice pudding.
What did one worm say to another worm? I know a restaurant where we can eat dirt cheap!! (Presumably Scores on the Doors rating would be zero at this place!)
What kind of tree has hands? A palm tree (which can get infested with the red palm weevil as listed as one of the pests coming to the uk.
How do you clean ice off tall buildings? With sky scrapers (wonder if any ice has been removed bearing in mind our recent uk snow weather conditions.
What do sea monsters eat for lunch? Fish and ships.
Which day of the week is the best for a dental appointment? Toothday (am taking my little boy for his first dental appt in May – not looking forward to that at all!).
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And just ask my friends, MLT and Sam, I always make my dental appointments at 2.30. Do you get it? Say it really fast and it sounds like “Tooth Hurty”
very good and VERY bad all at once
Ok my favorite – Did you hear about the 2 silkworms that were having a race – never mind it ended in a TIE!
Oh my goodness; I am hoping for better than that! – Caroline
My personal favourite, that always makes me giggle is:
A termite walks into a pub and says “Where’s the bartender?”
Clearly, I’m easily amused!
I enjoyed all these jokes – sad, but true! Thank you!
I have a few more:
What is a fly’s best chat-up line?
Sorry, but is this stool taken?
What do you call a fly without wings?
A walk
What is the difference between and mosquito and a lawyer?
The mosquito drops off when you are dead.
And a last one:
How many cockroaches do you need to screw in a lightbulb?
Don’t know, the lights go on and they run and hide
There is one more. What has antlers and sucks blood?
A Moose-quito
The jokes have definitely brighten my day. Thank you all!!!
Found two more, which are quite good
Customer : Waiter, there’s a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter : Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.
~~~~~~~~~~
Customer : Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup.
Waiter : That’s all right sir, he won’t drink much.