The rational side of me knows that spiders mean no harm. It’s not their fault they are ugly as sin or have a creepy number of legs. They do some good around the house like eating flies and wasps. I just don’t want them in my house. Or my shed or garage.
I have made a deal with spiders. I whisper to them, ‘if you enter my house you may die.’
In contrast to my screaming banshee approach when I spot a big fat house spider, the OH is calm and practical. He prepares the room first (ensures window is open), grabs a newspaper or magazine, teases the spider onto it then flicks it out of the window. “Simple,” he declares. “There is no need to be so hysterical.” “But if I did that it would run up my arm!” I shuddered. I have tried this approach and the spider did indeed scuttle up my arm. If the OH is unavailable, the vacuum cleaner on the longest setting is my preferred means of removing the horror. I definitely do not want to encounter a jumping spider in my house. There are 5000 species of jumping spiders which can spring to more than 50 times their own body length.
The spiders in my house are most definitely the biggest and fattest I’ve seen – there’s been a lot of insects this summer to make them nice and plump. Stalking male spiders wander the house in late summer and early autumn, looking for a mate.
The female body size of a spider can reach 18 mm in length (making it the largest member of the whole family), with males having a slightly smaller body at around 12 mm to 15 mm in length. The female leg span is typically around 45 mm. The leg span of the male is highly variable, with spans between 25 mm to 75 mm being common.The giant house spider is indigenous to north western Europe and can possesses quite a potent venom to subdue its prey, which is not known to harm humans but can break the skin.
I haven’t always been terrified of spiders. When I was seven I would collect garden spiders them from the garage and release them in my brother’s room. He would stand on the bed and shriek and I would be doubled over with laughter. Now I’m the one jumping onto the nearest sofa screaming “GET AWAY FROM ME”.
Spiders are really clever. They ambush their prey. They can climb on walls and ceilings. Their webs are stronger by weight than steel. They hide in dark spaces then run really quickly across the carpet scaring the Bejesus out of you when you are watching telly. With speeds clocked at 9.73 ft/s the giant house spider holds the Guinness Book of World Records for top spider speed.
Spider’s are like Houdini. I once washing a MASSIVE spider down the plughole with shower then put the plug back in place. A few minutes later the spider flipped the plug upwards and crawled out. I’ve tossed Tupperware over spiders and they have broken out of the plastic prison.
Even as I write this I am itching all over. The thought of eight legs climbing over me is crawling in the shadow of my mind. And whilst researching this blog I came across a picture of a spider molting. The huge carcass I vacuumed up yesterday behind the sofa wasn’t a dead spider. It was an exoskeleton. Which means there’s a spider at large. Arrrrggg.
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Bleurgh, I HATE spiders too. They are my complete and utter nemesis. At the weekend whilst watching a horror film in the dark (for added effect!) I noticed something rather large scuttling, yes scuttling, across the floor from the kitchen towards the tv.
As I sat pinned in fear on the sofa, my husband calmly went to the kitchen to look for a glass to remove it with, whilst I hoped my evil death stare would keep it well away from me. (Had I been alone, the neighbours would have heard my screams halfway down the road and once I was finally able to move inch by inch to the kitchen to fetch a suitable pot, the spider would have been imprisoned by glass or plastic and a note left with a massive arrow pointing to the inmate saying “please get rid of this” for my husband’s return home.) Anyway, the standard pint glass solution was not feasible as it was hiding under the lowest shelf of the tv stand so a tupperware box was used instead, ah trusty tupperware – and said spider was promptly disposed of in the downstairs loo.
The question I ask myself now is: how long had it actually been inside my house?
Spiders give me the creeps too. I remembered seeing one inside my antique cabinet at home. It’s really huge and I swear I saw its bulging eyes staring back at me. If the cabinet is not an antique, I might have gotten rid of it. In the end, I have to call a neighbor for help.
I am so glad there are others who empathize with me on this. I HATE spiders, and with me I don’t mind the harmless little spiders, but the brown recluses, black widows, the dangerous ones—NO WAY. I swear a group of 5 brown recluses ambushed me in the shower and literally jumped at me from the curtain. Needless to say, i went into a chaotic frenzy.
I did not know there were more than 5000 jumping spiders. There is no doubt that spiders can creep anyone out. Glad I have not been bit by a spider yet! (knock on wood)
I HATE spiders…but not as much as I hate flying insects like wasps! I catch spiders with a vacuum and release them outside so they can go on catching more flying bugs on my behalf